Went out with Sj, Sab and Kd ytd to East Point. We ate Han River resturant and spent like a bomb. But quite worth it. Coz got like don't know how many thousand courses. HAHA.
As usual, lunch was noisy and everything. Of course laa. Got crazy Sj who makes lame comments.

Window shopped around after that.
East point is seriously boring. How can Sj say it's fun. But then it's the company that matters. (:

Cam-whored with Sab's lolli.







Had a fun time. We love cam-whoring.(:

Went to pp with Stella today. So long never meet up with my darling already. (:
She was entertaining me with storys of her life in nyjc. hahaha.

Then we went Arcade and played kiddy games.
Walked around pp after that. Miss it so much. Don't know when was the last time I went there can.

And before leaving, darling gave me a lollipop and postcard. And I was on the verge of crying when I read it on the bus. Not coz of anything, but it's really damn touching. Thanks nyah. (:

This is like the first time I cried so much. A total of maybe 6hrs. Slept at 1 ytd after talking on the phone and many smses. And woke up at 6am today. But I did some sort of reflecting and looking things in different perseptives, and I guess I'm okay now. Though at times you till feel the sadness. Really appreciate those who have been there listening to me cry and everything. Especially Jean. I seem to be only able to cry infront of her. It was the same last time when my aunt passed away. I love my friends. They're the ones who'll be there with you all the way.

And it finally registered that this is the end of my dream. It was truly a wonderful and beautiful one. Till now, I never regretted it.
I'll stay strong. As long as you still feel for me the same way.
Let time show how strong and true your love is. Please don't let me down again.
------------

Anyone wo can touch you
Can hurt you or heal u
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave u

& all I know is
You’ve got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight

I'M FREE
At least for now.


Hoho. I so miss my 30+ for Amaths in Sec 3 EOY.

Yes. That's how horrible you'll score in JC. And seriously I'm going to do badly for everything.

Even for chem which is my most prepared subject I screwed it up.

But ah wells. For now it's rest time for about.... Hmm. 4days maybe? Then it's back to the books and serious studying.
I cannot get retained.


Whatever. Since whatever I say you don't believe, I don't care anymore.

Read JM's blog. And what she said made me think a lot.

"Some current incidents have convinced me so much that only the true ones will be there for you in times of trouble. The true ones are those that you can phone and talk to them to the wee hours in the night or even just cab down to their place and cry your heart out just because you needed some company. ........ But then again, isn't it true and sad that when you need someone, none's there?
.
.
.

..... the one you have always thought of them to be one of the closest but not the best, are always, always, frequently, the ones who endlessly hurt you."
--------------

Guess I agree with what she said. Though someone may have a lot of friends, but I guess not many will be always there standing true when you need them the most. It's only when crisis strike will then you be able to see who's true and who's not. And it sucks when you think about it and find that there are actually not many you can approach.

For me, only one person has stood by there all the way ever since I got to know him last year. And he has not failed to be there everytime, even in the wee hours of the night. Constantly reminding me that I'm not alone and I can approach him anytime. It made me feel bad that I always only approach him when I am down. But just want to let you know [if you're reading this] that you've really played an important role in my life and I'm able to stand strong now is partly thanks to your advices.

This post is random. Had lots of thoughts running through my head when I read her entry just now and just wanted to post about it. But somehow I just can't decipher those feelings and form proper sentences about them.

Now I realise why I regretted not going to bowling with my relatives. The reason being I'll start thinking of things when I'm alone. And all the sad feeling rushes back.

Oh wells.

On a brighter note, this song is really nice.
Eve recommended. Sooo long never get in touch with jap music. Wa. Thanks Eve.



Romanji:
Hajimete itta kimi to no deeto wa
Umi no mieru kouen
Hanashitai koto aru hazu na no ni
Damatta mama toki dake sugi

Boku no kodou ga kimi ni tsutawarisou de
Tsunaideta te wo
Awatete hanashita kedo kimi no me wo mite
Omowazu mata nigirikaeshita

Yagate sugiru kisetsu no naka de
Kimochi surechigai hanareta hibi
Wasuretakutemo wasurerarezu ni
Keitai no ura shashin no naka
Futari no egao mukashi no mama
Boku no senaka wo oshite kimi e to hashiraseta

Mou hanasanai yo
Ima made no boku to wa chigau kara
Suki kimi to zutto te wo tsunagi arukitai yo
Futari ashioto kasanenagara
Kimi to boku no love story
Tsuzuku eien ni...

Kimi ni tsutaetai omoi wa mune no naka
Afureteru kedo
Kotoba ni dekinai you na modokashisa ni
Kimi wo tada dakishimeteta

Kimi ga boku ni kureta egao ga
Nani yori mo boku no takaramono
Ryoute de tsutsunde hoho yosetara
Kimi wa sukoshi hazukashisou ni
Me wo sorashinagara "dame" tte itta
Boku wa kikoenai furi damatte kisu wo suru

Mou kimi no sei de
Boku no mejiri no shiwa ga fueta to shitemo
Kirai ni naranaide
Boku no omoi wa kawaranai yo
Kizamarete yuku kono shunkan
Kimi to boku no love story
Egaku shiawase wo...

Moshimo boku ga saki ni hoshi ni nattemo
Yozora matataite kimi terasu yo
Miageta sora soko ni boku ga iru kara
Itsu datte kimi no koto mimamoritsuzukeru kara

Mou hanasanai yo
Ima made no boku to wa chigau kara
Suki kimi to zutto te wo tsunagi arukitai yo
Futari ashioto kasanenagara
Kimi to boku no love story
Tsuzuku eien ni...

English translations:
On our first date
We went to a park with a view of the ocean
There were so many things I wanted to say to you
But we just spent the time in silence

I was afraid you'd hear my heartbeat
So I panicked
And let go of your hand, but when I looked in your eyes
I grabbed it again without thinking

Eventually the seasons changed
And we grew apart
I couldn't forget, even though I wanted to
The photo on the back of my cell phone
Showed us smiling just like old times
It gave me a push and sent me running to you

I won't let you go again
I'm different now
I love you, I want to always walk with your hand in mine
The sound of our footsteps overlapping
Our love story
Continues forever...

I wanted to tell you about the love
That filled my heart to overflowing
But, irritated at not being able to put it into words
I just held you instead

The smiles you give me
Are my most precious treasure
Cheek to cheek, I wrapped my arms around you
You seemed a bit embarrassed
And looked away, saying, "Don't"
But I pretended not to hear and just kissed you silently

If I get more wrinkles in the corners of my eyes
Because of you
Don't stop loving me
My love won't change
These seconds are ticking away
Our love story
Creates happiness...

If I should become a star before you
I'll twinkle in the night sky and shine on you
I'll be in the sky when you look up
I'll always be watching over you

I won't let you go again
I'm different now
I love you, I want to always walk with your hand in mine
The sound of our footsteps overlapping
Our love story
Continues forever...
---------------

AND she says the translations of some japanese song reminds her of me.

The morning sun slowly creeps in through the window
overflowing onto your dozing eyelashes
The gentle wind is invited into the room
by your sleeping face under the sunbeams
Tender euforia

Even though it's the same old morning
it's dressed in vivid colours
That is the miracle of our chance encounter
You're not alone, because I'm with you
-----

Like why the hell lahh.

Eve: the lameness of the song?
Eve: and the miracle stuffs
Eve: i thought you believe in those
Eve: so yup comes down to the gullible you
Me: HAHA!!! OKAYYY
Eve: Haha. the innocent stuffs lah. always try to make people happy
Eve: of course i know you're not innocent at all
Me: Umm.
Eve: i think you arh. you & shuzhen complete opposite of me & stella
Me: I think i'm quite different of shuzhen can
Eve: obviously. Shu zhen so much more positive minded. Haiyo. much more hardworking also. definitely looks human. you arh... aiyo. bamboo stick.
-------

I'm the same as Shu Zhen? UMMM. She's TOO innocent already lahh. hahaha. Just that we both are afraid of getting ourselves dirty and everything. lol!
Fine fine Eve. She NEVER fails to remind me how skinny I am. hahaha.

2 more days left to study. rah.

I was reading my past diary entries just now. As in my written diary. And I was laughing at the hilarious things I wrote in it. Like how I spelt Filza's name as FILZAH. And the thing about OBS and many many.

Keeping a diary is a good thing. And yet can be a bad thing as well.

These memories are playing like a film without a sound.

As I read, I began to wonder why people tend to say things they don't mean to do. Why even bother saying it when you're not sure whether you will do it or not.
I asked my friend this some days back before and he said sth like:
"Some people just say things for the sake of entertaining."
Which I thought makes perfect sense. Like they just say things for the sake of saying, and making you happy at that instant, feeding you with lies that will never happen. Did they ever consider the hurt it may bring in the future? I doubt so. So what should we do? Stop believing, stop trusting? Maybe. Only then you won't feel any hurt.
And I just don't know what to believe in anymore-

Anw, my younger bro was being random just now and told me he had this weird dream about talking to some cat. And I was like huh? He then hurriedly added that it's the cat who started talking to him first. HAHAHA.
And he said it's my fault coz I told him that if you think rubbish whole day long then you'll have rubbish dreams. Which is true to a certain extent, coz dreams reflect what you think about most.
Dreams are your greatest wishes and greatest fears.

I've always wanted to be an only child. Coz I'll get more peace and I don't have to share things. But now, I think I'm happy that I have a sibling. Though my brother can get real annoying sometimes. Still, I feel that I can relate to him the most. And yarr, I just realised that he actually cares a lot about me. Like he's always trying to make me laugh and everything. Some weeks back he actually said something to me which kind of surprised me.
He said:"Jiejie arh. How come today I never see you smile at all."

That made me realise how much he cares. And yea, he's a great company to have around. Like how I can always sing random songs infront of him then he'll start trying to sing along as well, and how I play the piano and he hums along too.
Okay, I better treat him better. HAHA.

3 more days left to study for MYE. ohmy lahhh. If I can't survive this time round then I only have myself to blame. Oh wells.

Went airport today to study with Huang Yu, Filza and Fadilah. Met up at like 10am+. Hmm. QUITE productive lahh. If you compare to ytd, which I only stared at gases notes for 9 freaking hours and I don't think anything went in. [Was infront of the com] Wa. So scary to think about it.

Though I must admit half the time today we were talking and gossiping and crapping and suaning Huang Yu. HAHA.


In the toliet. We were trying to compare heights. From tallest to shortest. HAHAHA. Filza was trying to act tall. So don't trust the photo. Oh. And HY kept insisting how gorgeous she looks.

Parked ourselves at some cafe table and proceeded to mug. [without buying anything from the cafe coz Fad says she has done that before.] Ended up talking at some point in time and we came up with a rule of how the next person who talks about sth irrelevant must buy chips for us. HAHA.
In the end we still started talking crap. Hmm. Random stuffs like how HY's new haircut costs $20+ and how it would have cost $95 if you let the owner of the shop cut. Madness. Imagine yourself paying $95 for a haircut. Talked bout lots of other things. Gossiped as well. Damn hilarious.


Right: Fad was telling us how nice this lotion smells. And the label says: "Proven to help babies sleep better" Funny eh Fad.
Left: Things our dear fadilah bring along to the airport. All kinds of funny lotions and even muscle ache cream. HY was saying she's like going to the jungle. HAHA.


Left: Huang Yu's 'remote control' like handphone. YES. It's a handphone. Damn cool right. Like some remote control. And it's so funny to see her on the phone. Coz it'll look as if she's talking to the remote control. And her hp has no vibration mode. Coz "It's too big to vibrate already". HAHA.
Right: In case you don't know what that is, it's the small round table I had to share with Huang Yu to study. I'm NEVER EVER going to share a table with her anymore. Like seriously, she takes up more than half the space, and she can just throw her notes on my fulscape paper [which I'm using] halfway, AND she vibrates the table so much with her writing. As in. She writes super hard. HAHA. Gosh. Pure torture.

Filza also kept complaining how the plants around her are annoying, coz they keep poking her? Like being in a forest. HAHA.


Fil in the forest.

Sitting down to talk is so fun. At one point we were so stressed up coz we were practically struggling with different topics we were doing, but after we talked about random stuffs and everything, it felt so much better. Like all the stress just disappeared. Amazing. And talking is really really nice. After promos we should just find a group of ppl, sit down, and talk. (:


And we left at like 6.30pm. Wa. From morning till evening. It was fun. I miss all my friends. (:

Just received an email from Eve about updates on her life in Australlia.
And sth she said really made me think a lot:

"Erm, I wanted to post something on my LJ in response to Fel’s entry on how fragile a relationship or friendship is but obviously I hate writing essays so I gave up. If I have the time, maybe. Basically, I just wanna add on that ‘friendship’ is not as fragile as you think. It is how you perceive it and what you do to preserve that bond. Don’t tell me you guys have never thought of people you haven’t met in ages. I am sure everyone does. Whenever I have nothing to do, I would start thinking of all the friends and people I have met so far. No matter how many times I heard rumors about some of them, I do not find myself changing my opinions on them. I am sure if you just say ‘hello’ to one of your friends on MSN who haven’t talked to you for ages, the past experiences that define your friendship will rush back to you.

Really, I have told you guys many times that I haven’t met anybody here that I can relate to like you all. Hence, I sometimes feel kinda lonely especially since you guys are busy with school work and stuffs. I felt really neglected and started to doubt if I still play a part in your lives. ...... I thought the bonds I had with these people are different to the ones I shared with you all. That’s why, I felt really comforted the last few weeks when I had a chat with Fel last week and received email from Stella last weekend. ........ ‘Friendship’ is not fragile, it is long lasting. It is just up to us to approach the person and start a conversation because we all tend to wait for the other party to approach us first. I am sure you guys have similar experiences before.

Friendship that last without exchange of words are rare, the friends I have came across that share such a bond with me is probably you guys. ..........

K sorry if this does not really relate to your blog post. I can’t remember it very well but I remember feeling strongly against your post. I don’t see why you are being so emo about it. Haha. If you aspire to be a psychologist, you must always keep a positive mind >3 "
------------------------------

HAHA! I wasn't really emo lahh. Just stating what I felt. And hmmm. I think my post was more about like.. How one mistake can affect the whole relationship. That's how fragile it is. But then again, what you said about friendship is true as well.

After reading Eve's email I felt kinda... hmmm. Sad in a sense. No, I'm not being emo. More like being sad for her. Like how she's all alone out there and trying her best to adapt when she doesn't have friends like us whom we can trust and confide in around her. And yet ppl are like complaining about how sucky life is. And how I always say that I feel lonely and everything when she has more of a reason to feel so. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves.
I've always felt that Evelyn is is one optimistic girl and she always strives to do her best and I rarely see her being sad. Still rmb the last time when I was so so depressed in Sec 3 that I actually cried during recess. And that afternoon I was supposed to go her house [for fun]. She knew I was sad, and she lent me 'Full Metal Panic Fumoffu' VCDs to bring home and watch. She said it'll make me laugh. THE POINT IS, she's always there when I'm down and everything and never fails to say things that motivates me to think on the bright side. Come to think of it, Eve really is a brave girl.
And I still rmb how I always thought I'll cry [coz I'll miss her] when Eve flies off to Australlia. And I missed her already even before her departure date. Still rmb how I smsed Stella [Issit?] that I miss Eve already. lol.
Though I don't usually say to her that I miss her, but deep in my heart I still do. Even though a person may not show it, doesn't mean the feeling is not there. And I know she has left footprints in my heart with all those memories and she'll always be a part of my life. This is the same for all my other friends as well. You all are not forgotten. (:

To Eve: Just to let you know that you're being missed quite terribly. Don't feel lonely coz we're all here for you whenever you wanna talk. Emails, SMSes and everything are still tools of contact. I really really miss the times when we walk to KFC for lunch from school and how we'll just spend hours infront of the com at your house watching 'Yakitake Japan' [which I haven't finished watching] and laughing and laughing. The time when we were at your house trying to revamp flyne.net using 2 laptops and the time when we went to your house to record the song for the competition. Not forgetting and all the UVERworld craze you tried to influence me with, and how you keep saying Akira is my husband. HAHAHA. I've been to your house don't know how many thousand times that it has became a habit and everything seem so familliar. Thanks for all the yakuit and chocos. Oh, and I've not been visiting the library as often as last time coz you're not here to go with me.
Even before you left I really know how much I'll miss all these things. I'm sure you'll be able to survive life in UNSW. You're a brave girl and I know you'll really do well in designing. I'm sure of your skills. One day when you become a famous designer/animator/UM. UVERworld manager, do rmb to say in your thankyou speech how much you love tkgs and how much you love me and my singing. [kididng] HAHA! I look forward to you coming back to Singapore. (:

Yepyep. Had this sad feeling just now when I read her email. Teared a little actually. haha. But yea, I'm fine. Thought about Eve in her shoes and kinda understood how she feels and how I'll feel if I were her. And I started thinking about the past and everything. About how happy we were. I know things will never be the same but bonds will still remain.

6 more days to midyears. We can survive. I must stop slacking and really chiong already. :/

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It finally dawned upon me how I should see things. HAHA.
Now I'm a happy happy person. (:

WELL.

Okay. Maybe you do care.
That's all that matters. (:

I
am
frigging
irritated.

RAH.

What the heck is going on.

The feeling you're giving is like you don't care.
So why am I caring so much.

Went vivo city with my relatives today. Nicole and Ethan also got go. They're like SUPER HYPER as usual. HAHA.


Me and Pris. My brother was the photographer. Lousy skills lahh.

And we went crystal jade for lunch. (:


Trying to take pictures using the small pathetic piece of mirror. BUT apparently mission failed. HAHA.


FOOD. (: The design of the resturant was like DAMN NICE. The utensils also very nice. They ordered like LOTS of food can. SO MUCH lah! Germaine was like saying the amt is like feeding pigs. LOL.

Was very busy after eating and even during lunch. Had to entertain Nicole and Ethan.


Left: Them in the resturant. Look at how Ethan climbs and everything. Oh gosh.
Right: They ran all the way out to outside and we had to chase them. And they found this small pond like thingy and started playing with water and wiping them on us. HECTIC.


Outside. The view is breath-taking. It'll be perfect with the one you love. HAHA. No. I'm not saying I'm in love with Pris. lol.

Went Toys R us after that. Coz they wanted to buy toys. HAHA.


Left: the big screen thingy which capture images. See Nicole and Ethan. HAHA.
Right: If you notice there's a girl behind Nicole wearing white dress as well. Back at crystal jade, Ethan was running out of the resturant and he suddenly went to hug that same girl who was at the other table. Think it's coz he thought that was his sister. HAHA.


We were cranky and decided to play around.
Left: I'm worth $109.90
Right: Me and Ger. 2 for the price of 1 - $169.90
HAHA!

Went Ben and Jerry's for ice cream. Whee. Nice. (:


They kept climbing onto the cow. Poor cow. We were saying it's going to break apart sooner or later.


Left: Nicole and I. She's so adorable. But super active.
Right: COW. I asked Ethan what it is and he said: '"Horse." HAHA.


We love ice cream. <3

Went home after that. Ended up going one whole big round to tampiness with Pris, liling they all then take bus home when I could have just taken NEL back to Kovan. Coz they blocked me from getting out of the train. HAHA.

Hectic tiring day. If you want to lose weight, just bring Nicole and Ethan out. You'll bound to lose some weight. HAHA.

Was thinking about Kd's tag:
kENdRA:i realised u look exactly the same from sec yrs till now hahah. ....

So I went to dig up past photos to compare. HAHA.

P4


p5


Sec 2


Sec 3


Sec 4


J1


Don't tell me I still look the same throughout these years. HAHAHA. Maybe I do. :/
And yes Eve, I know I look the same for every photo. You've said that a lot of times. And I realise. Can't help it laa. I tend to just smile and tilt my head the same way everytime I face the camera!

Ah wells. Midyears in like 1 week time. AND I haven't really finished revision for any subject. So much for striving not to slack at the beginning of the hols. OHMY. :/ Someone please shoot me. I cannot afford to fail. ):

Better buck up and get off the com!

My world is closing in I'm so alone
The door is locked and nobody’s home
I'm wishing I was somebody else
This world left me all by myself-

Went out with Stella, Wanjing and Daniel ytd. Supposedly Timo and Seng Yong was supposed to come but ya, something cropped up.
Went lunch at KFC then went to White Sands arcade and played. After that went to Pasir Ris Park. Stella and Daniel tried roller blading while me and Wanjing helped to support them. HAHAH.

Poor me had to help Daniel coz Wanjing went with Stella. His first time trying roller blading. And ya, quite embarrasing for a guy to be held by a girl. HAHAHA. My back was like sore and everything. lol.

Went Airport sakae after that. Spent a bomb. And I was like totally broke and still owe Stella $$. HAHA. But yep it was nice talking and everything.
I LOVE MY OG PPL. Hmm. At least the usual group. HAHA. Yep. Quite rare for OGs to keep in contact but ya we still do. But still, it's just the usual small group of us. Who cares about the quantity. It's the satisfaction derieved from being with friends who are fun. (:


The 3 of us. (:

Went TM have lunch with Sijie, Sab and Kd today. They went swimming early in the morning. Didn't go along with them due to erm.. some inconvenience. HAHA. Had lunch at Pizza Hut. And we were laughing and crapping a lot. Like how Sj complained that the table is too far away from the chair and tried shifting it and everything. And we were like emptying the cheese bottle coz Sab kept putting ALOT of cheese onto her meal. lol! And the lasagne inside joke. HAHA. DAMN FUNNY. omg.



The empty plates of our lunch. And the pic of this small boy who kept turning around and looking at our table.

Kd went home after that and I decided to tag along with Sj and Sab back to TKGS. They collecting cert and I just went back for fun. HAHA. Went to TM toliet. Sab changed into Sj's TJ uniform while Sj changed into Sab's MJ one. HAH. Then I changed into Sab's triton house tee. HAHA. We were like saying we're like all traitors. lol!


Left: Before. Right: After.

Went back to TKGS. Walked around and took LOTS AND LOTS of photos. And coz we wanted all 3 of us in the pic, and we resorted to all sorts of weird methods [like using chairs and tables and blah] to support the camera and put timer. HAHA.


This is some of the crazy things we resorted to.

And the canteen changed a lot. Like what Abah described last time, it seriously looks like a kindergarten school. HAHA. And they gave weird names to the stalls.



Some new additions as well. Looks cool.









Can you spot the difference? >>


HAHA! YES. Decided to change into TJ uniform. ((:




Us again. With some newly seen art paintings around the bball court.


Our beloved neighbour TKSS. hahaha.



Left: The nice nice place I used to go to with whoever when I'm feeling emo.
Right: Class exemplary award. Reminds me when 4e3 got it. ((:

After that it's home sweet home.
Today is fun. Really fun. I never fail to laugh like some mad person with this company lah. HAHA. (:

Ohya. Look:

Left: Sec 3. Right: JC1. Same pose if you realise. Times flies! Friends for life. (:

Finally...


TKGS main gate. (: Still rmb how when we first came into the school we were at 50th anniversary. Now 54 liao. Time flies.

That's all for now. Long post with LOTS of photos. ((:

HAHA. Just read Kendra's blog. Didn't know what I blogged bout will have such a great impact. Now everyone's emo-ing.

Extract from her blog:


Sorry Kendra.
Yea indeed, it's very very saddening when you find yourself in a situation when you drift away from someone close. And it hurts even more when you notice that the other party doesn't really care then you slowly wonder why you care so much as well. It's in this way that relationships turn sour. Coz no one will be willing to try to maintain that bond but let it fade.

Then it leads to another question of

Why is it that happiness can disappear in an instant but the sadness last forever.

Maybe it's just a prank. Like life is short, death is forever, implying that nothing happy will last long.

Ah wells. Enough of the emo-ness. HAHA. This is life. Everyone cheer up!! :D

Yes. I am still online. AHAHA.

Was talking to Sab on MSN and what we said made me ponder over a few things.

Changes.
Maybe changes are the first step
away from the comfortable sameness
and a plunge forward into the unknown
Maybe the moment right before you're ready to move on
is always when it's hardest to let go.

Everyone will definitely experience changes in life. Both good and bad ones. Of course those good ones will be welcomed, but the bad ones? Or some ppl just prefer to stick to their own comfort zone and wish that the happiness they're experiencing now will never change. But more than often, things don't go the way you want it to be and soon enough, you find yourself being sad that things are not like before.
And who do you blame when these happen? Destiny? God? Your own fate?
Though I sometimes blame myself when I'm in such situations, I've come to learnt that this is part and parcel of life. Changes happen all the time. Human behaviour, their thinkings and feelings.. nothing will ever remain the same way forever.

All things change. An ancient Greek Philosopher once said: "You can't step into the same river twice." Change, inevitably, means loss. Different ppl deal with loss differently. Sometimes with a shrug, and sometimes with constant yearning and a continual search for replacement. The way we deal with loss - changes - is perhaps one of the truly defining of our personalities and how strong our characters are.

It seriously sucks when you're in wonderland, than falling from such heights when changes set in. This is when it all depends on how a person's character is. One may then start grumbling what a cruel life he/she has, and becomes moody everyday. This is what most ppl will do at the beginning. I myself must admit I'm like this most of the time. But at least I only allow myself to be in depression for a few days, after which I try to be happy and make the most out of things. If you can choose between happiness or sadness, of course you go for the happy side. Why frown when it's better to smile. It's all in the mindset. Change your perspectives accordingly and everything will work out fine. There are always things which you can find to smile for.

And then I thought about how fragile a relationship can be. Be it friendship or love. How one mistake can be the source of disputes and then leads to a relationship turning sour. Or maybe one party says something wrong and that's the end of the relationship. It's this fragile and such a pity. Months or years of relationship will be gone just like that. It's also quite saddening to look back and then see how close you all were before, but then it's all gone. That's why we should always cherish relationships and always try to maintain them.

Psychology is such a wonderful thing. Too bad I'll never be able to become a pyschologist. Probably not.

And for Sab [if you're reading this], here's something for you:

When things end,
what matters is not that everything's in pieces.
It's how you decide to carry them.

Meaning:
When things end
What matters most is that you pick yourself up
and make the most our of things.

I'm sure everything will be fine for you. Don't think too much. And whenever you feel like talking, just remember that I'm [and all your other friends] here for you. I understand excatly what you're feeling for I've experienced it before. You're not alone. (:

WOW. This is one loooooong entry. HAHA.

WELL. 2 weeks and 1 day more to midyears. And what have I studied? Barely anything much. Oh gosh. I'm just so dead. But still I don't have the motivation to study!! What is this lahhh. I'm so dead. Heard that midyears is 30% of promos. Which means. ER. WELL. HAVE TO REALLY REALLY STUDY HARD!!!

Okay I seriously can't afford to slack any longer. MUST do well for midyears. How can I get retained? No way man. NO NO NO. I can survive this.

Ah wells. This week past quite slowly. Don't know why. Shall post photos since I have nothing to do and I don't feel like studying. Someone please smack me.

Okay. Just when I wanted to post photos, my hp uploading programme broke down on me. And wouldn't restart no matter how many thousand times I press. What is this. Why does everything keeps on turning against me. RAH.

Stupid thing. I'm sad. ):

HMPH. Shall just make do with what I have:

The photo of Siu Pan and the cake we bought at the airport during NE journey. NE journey indeed. =p

Germaine and I. In MJ uniform. (: She was saying she wanna try on. So yea. HAHA.

This was a photo of some random thing I took when Ger and I were in Plaza Singapura. Thought it was a baby in the pram. But look. HAHA.
I WANT A DOG. ): [But I've a feeling my future husband will not want. HAHA. Okay no sense.]

Lastly, presenting to you... MY DARLING #2!! I've not forgotten you nyah!

I love her to bits and pieces. She rocks my secondary 3 & 4 days. [and will continue to do so throughout my entire life] And we have planned lots and loads of things to do in the future. Like going to Japan after university, and OH. She's going to be my future daughter's [I WANT A DAUGHTER] God-mother! HAHAHA.

Yepyep. I've wasted like... 4 frigging hours online. Oh gosh. Shoot me please.
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You make me thank God that I live my life everyday-

WOW. Amazingly my com decided to be nice and starts working. (:
Been com-less for like... Mmm. The past 4 days. Wa. Imagine the torture I went through.

Mmm. The past week has been fun. Um. Ya. Most of it. Went Pasir Ris Park with ex secondary school classmates. Fun fun fun. (: Shall update photos the next time.

Today went some park near Coasta Sands resort for SLC bonding session. Not bad lah. Quite fun. (:

Ah wells. But this week has been my most emo week also. Sigh. Why is everything going wrong.

I've been thinking. How far is one willing to sacrifice for someone he or she loves depends really on how much he loves that person. Despite the amount of "I love you"s said, one can actually only witness how true is the love when it comes to crucial issues. Only then can you tell how far that person will really go for you.

I just need you to say one sentence to sooth my heart. And that actually depends whether you know what to say.

This song is really nice: "Would you be there". From some TV show I think.

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

If I am away, would you still think of me
and wish that you could hold me now
would you die for me, would you run with me, all the way..

Would you be there to save my soul tonight
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there
to kiss my pain away

Would you be there...
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Would you be there all the way. I'm really afraid that you won't go all out if there's a need to.

Went school today for SLC J2 farewell performance rehearsal. Not bad. Quite productive. (:
And I had the chance to have a last glimpse of my beloved.
Though the more I look, the harder it is to let go.

Went home and feeling real emo. Didn't go back home straight but instead walked to some playground near my house and just stoned and stared into space. I needed some peace to sort things out I guess.

Haiss. This is so depressing. First day only and I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms. HAHA. No I'm not under drugs. How am I going to survive through this. Sigh.

Guess I'll just find things to keep myself occupied. Studying or sleeping. Sleeping seems the best option. But then again I seriously need to study. So yea. Maybe I'll just go sleep now. And probably study later. Goodnight everyone. HAHA.

And crap. Now I'm feeling really sick. RAH. ):

Time without you seems to be ticking away ever so slowly. I miss you. Lots.