But then when you sit down and seriously think again,
there isn't anything to be happy about anyway.

(Multiple meanings.)

Sometimes I just wish that the happiness wouldn't stop.

Ooohhh.
I can't wait for tomorrow!!!!!! (: (: (:
So exciting!
HAHAHA!

It was so relieving after Econs.
And surprisingly there was still like 5 mins left for me to stretch and look around.
My hand was damn damn tired after the whole thing laa. 13 pages of crap.
And yes I think I'm going to do badly coz I misinterpretated questions here and there. There. My 3hours of effort for studying.

And and.
Who the hell is _______ Nah. HAHAHA!
To think I read it as Neh.

Hmmm.
I was thinking just now.
About how I don't want to grow old. ): ):
Something happened which made me think a lot about it. And I was like asking my brother: WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN I GROW OLD?!

And and. I'm so going to DO EXERCISES (So I won't be so sickly and everything) starting from.... ehhhhhh. When I feel like it. HAHA.
Oh! And drink more water!
I've been drinking a lot more water already okay! (:
So proud of myself.
After the stupid dehydration-fainting-spells-hospital-rubbish scare.

I had a very very lovely dream yesterday. (:
I want more very very lovely dreams.



Sometimes.
People get a little too far, then suddenly get all afraid of it.
Like if you go any further, you may end up getting hurt.
Then they'll just back out and withdraw, keeping themselves to themselves, safe from everything.



Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow!!
(: (: (: (: (:

I'm wasting my life away.
At the end of the day I'll like ask myself what on earth have I done the whole day, and usually it brings down to 4 words: I have no idea.

But I think it's somewhere along the line like:
1. Wake up.
2. Breakfast.
3. Walk around the house.
4. Phonecall/SMS.
5. Sleep again.
6. Stare at my notes.
7. On the com behind me.
8. Phonecall/SMS.
9. Talk to random people, in particular LC for don't know how long then time fliesss.
10. Dinner.
11. Stare at my notes.
12. On the com again.
13. Talk to random people again.
14. Sleep.
15. Wake up in the middle of the night to receive a phonecall.
16. Sleep.

Argh.
This stupid routine has to stop.
As in the computer nonsense. Look at how much time I've wasted online.
I don't even know why I keep coming online.
Time to stop. Discipline.


Thinking a lot nowadays.
Don't want to think what I'm thinking.
Disgusted by what I'm thinking.
Makes me want to curl up and sleep things away.

I'm confused.
Hahaha.
(Since when am I not.)
I should just go for brain surgery and have my mind fixed.

Classical songs are my best friends during exam period. (:
I've always like Canon in D, but yet to master the piece on piano. ):
HAHA.

I seem to be able to play pieces with flats instead of sharps.
I don't know why. I can play from like 1 flat to 5 flats, BUT have difficulty reading the score with even 1 sharp. HAHA.
Weird arh.

And Canon in D happen to have 2 sharps.
Which I obviously have difficulty in. I can't read sharps for nuts.
-rolls eyes.

Dinner with relatives.
Haha.
I love sitting down and talking.
(:

I'm thinking whether I'll have the time to finish studying maths statistics plus EVERYTHING on Econs tomorrow. HAHAHA.

It's one day less to freedom!! (: (:

Wheee.
I was a happy happy girl for 2 hours. (:
More happiness after MYE. (: (:

Tues - End of horror. Card games. (: (:
Wed - Jean's house. Hamster. TK. Card games with the class.
Thurs - RSAF ADA + blah blah blah [whatever you call that] POP.
Fri - 6th 6th 6th! (: (:

3 more sickening papers.
Argh argh.
No mood.

Lunched with the usuals after phy yesterday.
When we were walking to TM, there was this old man distributing flyers and then kept pointing at Le Dung and talking gibberish. Didn't really catch what he said.
Until the last part:

Old man: [Singing in the One little two little three little indian blah blah tune] One little handsome boy.

HAHAHAH.
I was laughing all the way coz gay was beside me.
Amusing, but scary as well.

Alright.
I'm bored.
Hungry.
Ennui.
Tired.
Sleepy.

I think I'm falling sick.
Coughing. ):

Was in a sickening mood last night.
PMS I think.
As usual my little profound mind will start thinking a lot a lot.

Eh.
But everyone should be happy.
Because it's like 52.5 hours which is 3150mins which is 189000s to freedom. (:
So those who don't feel like studying, you can just sit down at one corner, count to 189000 and it'll be over! HAHA.

I read this story off Stella's blog.
It's an email I think.
Shall just shorten the thing.


.
.
.

'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'
'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet.

The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have Nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God.

You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the Commotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one
appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no
brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust! your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.

Pass this on if you have faith in God.

If not, still pass it on for it's a good story!
---------------

It was longer than this laa.
Haha.
A rather good story I feel.

Been having weird dreams lately.
Like how I dreamt about Narnia the day before yesterday.
Must be LJ's fault. Kept saying he's going Narnia.

Us: Eh where are you going.
LJ: Narnia.

And another weird one yesterday.
The stupid scene is still so clear in my head.
I can almost feel it laa.
Argh.

And I can't wait for tomorrow. (: (: (:

Physics was like the best out of everything so far.
But still lots of stupid careless mistakes.
Argh.

Went for Macs breakfast with Fil, Jean, Quek and Atiqah after that.
HAHA.
Everyone were in holiday mood laa.
Don't know why also.
5 down, 4 more to go.
Wheee.
(: (:

Woah.
It's so late already and I'm still up.
HAHA.
Ironic thing is that we have to wake up early tmr.

Maths was...
ahahaha.
Amusing.
Sadistic.
I think I'll do even worse than my block test which is already like very very bad already.

Stupid stupid.
I'm reading physics like it's some story book.

Stupid L.C.
Now that song's stuck in my head.

You will marry _______.
After a wild honeymoon, you will settle down in Beach in your fabulous House.
You will have 6 kid(s) together.
The family will zoom around in a Green Mercedes.
You will spend your days as a Accountant, and live happily ever after.

HAHAHAAA.
So cool they have this online thingy game which we used to play when we were young.

http://www.espin.com/mash-game.php

I need to destress.
Hahahaha.

I haven't touched my GC for like 12357862 million years.
And I totally forgot it's running out of battery.
Now I've to waste my time to buy batteries.
Stupid GC.

I CAN'T RMB ANYTHING I'VE STUDIED.
I have a feeling it's going to be another repeat of block tests when I finished the paper 1 hour before the time, staring blankly at the questions and skipping everything on summation, AP, GP, and all that crap.

Argh.
Persevere. Persevere.

2hours and 16mins more to doom.
And 5hours and 16mins more to 5 more papers. (:

I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms. ): ): ):
Stupid 5 days long field camp.

Chem = GG.

Lack of time. Lack of brains.
):

I was utterly shocked when I see the amount of questions we had to do in that period of time. 1 question half an hour. [4 in total] Part a, b, c, d, and sometimes e to each question, with part 1 and 2 in between some. Which means... About an average of like 3mins per part?? Madness.

Was looking at cats for adoption just now.
Kittens are so cute. Cats are so cute.
But then on second thought I think it's so inconvenient to have a cat. Health problems, hygeine, everything has to be thought about.
Sigh sigh. Leave that to later.

Today was a funny day.
In school everyone were saying: die die die.
Then Filza suddenly exclaimed that she forgot to bring calculator.
And Hiang Ling followed to say she forgot as well.
Then Zhu Song suddenly asked: "Eh what's in the Data Booklet arh."

Such a funny day.
Oh wells.

Oh.
And so much for the Youth Day craze.
My brother now say that it's on the 7th.
Hahaha.
Wikipedia is so not reliable.

I found this on wikipedia.
How dare they cheat us of our holiday.

Or maybe they think: Ohhh. You come to school for like 2hrs and a half. Not for the whole day. Considered holiday also.
Eh. Logical thinking.
Argh.

It's...
2 hours 11mins to the paper.
And I see 4 people from S202 online.
HAHAHAHA.

I'm down to my last chapter!! (:
BUT I totally didn't touch group 2, 7, transition and all that crap. I think I'm so dead.
And I can't rmb what I learnt about organic, thermochemistry, blah blah blah just now. :/

Crap.

Oh wow.
I've got 3 hours left and I'm left with 10 chapters of chem. [Excluding Group 2 Group 7 and all that crap]
Which means 18mins per chap.
HAHAHAH.

I better go dig my grave. ):

One paper down.

GP was crap crap crap laa.
Essay - Die.
Compre - First question stunned already. :/

Gahh.
Chem tmr.
Gone case I tell you.
I didn't know that Paper 3 has the most weightage.

Insomia yesterday.
Haha.
Damn funny.
Coz everyone seemed to be like that too. My brother as well.
He went to bed at 9.30pm, only to fall asleep at 12am plus.

Alright.
I hope I mug soon.
Dreaded midyears.

And wth is the meaning of dissent?!
-Goes to find the meaning-

Wth. Wth. Wth.
I HOPE I DON'T FAIL. ):

OH.
AND:

Dr: [SMS] All the best n gd luck for MYE ...Dr Rahman.

Awww.
I'LL MISS DR!!

Tommorrow's the day. Tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow's the day!
-screams.

Was enjoying my last day of the holiday.
It seriously went by soooo fast.
And it didn't feel like a holiday at all.
Boo.

I slept a lot today.
While reading GP articles on the bed.
Read 1 article, sleep. Wake up after half an hour. Read another. Sleep.
):

9 more days to freedommmmm. (: (: (:
Hopefully I survive this. :/



I'm in love with this song.
Calms you down when you're feeling all uncertainties.
Reminds you that no matter what happens,
there's always someone up there with greater authority than any, has the power to create any miracles as long as you believe, many many more good things,
and most importantly: loves each and every one of us. (:
Oooh. It gives you such a warm feeling inside.

All the best people.

Filza are you scared?
HAHAHAHA.

Relatives gathered at my house yesterday for dinner.
Damn crowded and noisy.
Haha.

Nicole and her baby sister, Natalie, who's turning 1 year old very soon came as well. And as usual Nicole was damn hyper. Violent violent. Ger and I kept running after her and looking after Natalie as well. Haha. But they're so cute. Minus the over-hyperness.
Had a headache after they went off. lol.

At some point in time we had this counselling session with the adults. Sat around the dining table and talked. It was such an interesting and amusing conversation. From why they nag to how our parents think that 16/17 is too young an age to date.
Yadayada.
I think that it's okay to date once you're matured enough. Why so afraid of failed relationships. You can always learn from it and not repeat the same mistake. And it allows you to realise for yourself what you really want in someone.

But yeah. Heartaches may scar you for life.
But but that makes your life in a sense more interesting.
As in. So much happiness, no sadness. Then you won't appreciate the happiness that comes along.

And after all, He will mend all hearts.

All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship you

Past 2 days I was like camping from 9-6pm at the airport.
With Fil, Fad and Ham. (:
But only doing 3 chapters max per day. Because that seems to be all I can cover in a day.
:/

I've been having waffles set for breakfast for the 2 days.
Haha.
And I love the auntie who serves me at the counter. She's so grandmother-ly! HAHA.
And and she even gave me 10% discount plus another LONG piece of garlic bread for the soup I ordered. (: (:

I felt like home while I was studying. Like some hotel like that. HAHAHA.
And of course Fad felt so at home that she sat so unglamly. Lol.

And today was Family Business day as well. Everyone loves Family Business don't they.

Dinner ytd with YQ. (:
Nice catching up.
Haha.

Oh. Mugging outside requires ALOT of money.
Reasons: Breakfast [WAFFLE SET] + Lunch + teabreak + maybe dinner + $3 supply of sweets everyday.
You don't want to know how much I spent the past 3 days.

Fun fun. (:
Though I didn't really study very much, but it felt like I did study very much. HAHAH. So at least I won't feel so guilty.

Oops.
I really need a miracle. ):

Awww. And I'll miss studying at the airport like that.

I'm drained.
From just 3 2 chapters of maths.
Recurrence, Vectors 1, Vectors 2.
It felt like I did a lot though.
AHAHAH.
WTH.

Mugging at airport with Fil and Ham.
Yes in the end I decided to go, which I'm glad I did coz I'd end up not doing anything at home.

CHARLENE DEAR STOP FEELING STRESSED.
AND GOSH. IF YOU'RE DUMB, WHAT AM I!

My efficiency rate is damn damn damn low.
I seem to be able to do serious mugging THE DAY BEFORE THE EXAM.
HAHAHA.
[Like how I managed to cram everything on maths in 4hrs the day before Block test. Which explains the lousy grade I got.]

And Filza if you're reading this, Econs paper is not with GP. That's H2 laa. You scared the hell out of me.

I intend to plant myself at airport at 7am. It was actually 6, then 6.30, then 7. HAHA. And I can have my waffle set for breakfast with the strawberry I've been imagining myself eating and free flow of tea. HAHAHAH. But arh........ Depends on whether I'll feel lazy or disciplined enough to crawl out of bed. In every 100 attempts, only 1 will be successful. :/
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner out tmr. HAHAHA. I'll be broke by the end of MYE.
And I'll probably increase my risk of diabetes. Coz I consumed almost 3 packets of sweets in 3hrs. I need to chew to make myself focus. Haha. Blahhh.

Sleepyyy.

Fall for you.
Song's been on repeat mode on my ipod.
Just imagine how many times I listened to it the whole day.

I think it's so sweet to fall for the same person twice. As in. Fall out of love, then fall back in again. Or maybe at the verge of collapsing, you suddenly grow closer and love rekindled. Ohh. Or like those in dramas. Like how the person has amnesia and everything, but then still managed to fall for the same person again. So sweet. Haha. Read Nicholas Sparks's books! They're so damn sweet, and you wished that you could experience that. HAHA. My favourite is still The Notebook. (:

Eh. But such things rarely happen in real life right.
Gone means gone.
No matter how much you want it to go back to the past, it's useless.

Then why do people like to imagine this and that.
Why with all those fictional stories.
Like trying to delude yourself that this world is beautiful, trying to hide those ugly truth.
Or maybe it's a place to run to and hide. Seek comfort.
Stories to cloud your thoughts in believing things like this exist.

Reality check.

Not emo-ing.
Just having a lot of thoughts about this.

Still contemplating whether to go airport to mug.
IT'S DAMN BLOODY HOT AT HOME.
HOT HOT HOT. ):

Okay. I think I'll just go airport.
Damn hot here.
Hahaha.

And lower chance of me slacking.

Gosh. I can't wait for after midyears.
And to think they cheated us of our youth day holiday for exams.
AND we're like the school to end the latest can.
Coz it's the full Alevels format. ):
Not fair laa.

I better do productive work today.
Zomg.
My table's nicely spread out for me but there's nothing on it.
): ): ):
I think I'm watching my life getting screwed up and yet not do anything about it.

I need a miracle I tell you.

Ohh.
And I keep going on and on about how I want a pet.
I want want want a kitten next time.
And I'll name it meow meow (tentatively) and play with it.

I'm hungry and I've a craving for korean seaweed. (:

And I can't wait for after midyears!
CARD GAMES.
HEAVY LOAD OFF MY MIND.
OG OUTING. YH'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION.
And I still want to plan that surprise bday party for Gary's 21st. It'll be so fun laaa. Hahahhaa.

Lots of people's birthdays coming up.

4th July - Ying Han.
8th July - Mum.
12th July - Ger.
22nd July - Darren.
24th July - Gary.
27th July - Timothy. (:
7th August - MINE. (: (: (:
HAHAHAA.

Okok.
I'm going to work hard for midyears so I can play hard after that!!!!
YAYYY.
I've got my motivation. (:

GP lessons in the morning.
Rather useful I would say.
After that we went to have lunch at Tamp.
Went some Community Centre after that, sat at some weird corner and we started playing werewolf. HAHA.
Fun fun. (:

Stupid L.C. keeps keeping me 'entertained' by drawing lame things using the handwriting function. And making me count triangles and circles. And the ironic thing is I'm laming along with him and counting.

Argh.
MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG.

L.C. is a bad bad boy.
Hmpuf.

I was reminded that time when we shouted to I-forgot-who [Think it's Timothy and Daniel] Happy Mothers' Day.

Kbox in the morning with Ger's family and mine. Sang and shouted. When the adults sang oldies I kept having the feeling like we're in some community club event for old people. HAHA.

Airport mugging with HY and Fad in the late afternoon.
Didn't do much but caught up and everything.
Oh. Now you get to see my stupid new hair which is so damn annoying coz the parting keeps going out of place and my fringe falls all over my face when the wind blows and my hair is so so shorter than last time now. ):

HAHAHAHA. HY MY BRO SAYS YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY!

HY: Let's take pictures because I love Felicia's camera! [hp]
Fad: HY. That's not a very good reason to take photos.

Talked about weird stuffs over dinner.

HY's insights on functions of guys:

1. Makes you happy.
2. Take care of things for you.
3. -censored-

HY was going on and on about how we shouldn't commit too much in a r/s and just remain platonic friends because guys are jerks and you may end up getting hurt and yadayada. Then Fad and I were like: NOOOO. Because at some point in life you'll feel that there's something missing in your life. And yadayada.

Fad: Are you saying that guys are useless?
HY: I didn't say that guys are useless. Just think of the functions of guys listed earlier.

My view?
Don't generalise.
Yes though most stories you've heard about r/s are like terrible and blah, ending up in cliche things like: "Sorry I'm too busy to commit." "I'm not good enough for you." "I lost interest in you."

BUT there are still exceptions.
There's still hope in this world.
Haha.
Shan't talk too much about this.
----------

Yesterday went dinner with Ger's family and mine. All sorts of nonsense. Tried conversing in hokkien on the car and I ended up speaking profanities, coz I didn't know what I was talking. Hahaha.

Went Ger's house and we played Viwawa on her com. One com each. [My bro, her and I] And and we also tried all the funny effects of her laptop cam.

Like:
[Image heavy]

Just for laughs:







-----------

Fun. (:

1 more week.
Hahahaha.
Time for intensive mugging.

Smile's not a smile until it wrinkles your face
Bell's not a bell without ringing
A home's not a home when there's nobody there
A song's not a song without singing
Love isn't love till you give it away

Today was like some tkgs reunion day.
Hahahah.
Not excatly an outing. Just managed to come together in a weird way.
Conclusion: TKGians seem to be weak at physics.
HAHA.

Oh. And now everyone's trying to stress me out by saying how stressed out they are. But then I realise I don't usually get stressed out. Even if I do, it'll be like for 5mins-1hr only. Which is kind of bad because I'm still slacking and I don't feel any fear. Maybe soon.

Eh.
After MYE, Charlene, Jean, whoever, please remind me that it's like the last lap of the most important exam in my entire life. If not I'll keep forgetting and yeahhh.

And and.
L.C.'s going on and on about how the world will sufer when oil runs out and everything. Hahaha. It's really scary to think how uncertain the future will be like. Increasing stress. Like the current level is not enough.

Weird.
It's at this point of time when everyone's complaining why they never choose to poly route and everything. But I've no regrets. Never fancy that route anyway.

Sigh.
I want to buy a piece of land and have a small little hut, grow my own vegetables, have 1 meow meow in my house, and live a peaceful life with my beloved. How nice. Hahaha.

Stop dreaming.
Gosh. I need motivations.

Today's the most productive morning ever.
I started work at 8am.
Didn't do anything intensive but at least I got my AP GP brushed up. From level 0 to about level 4? lol.

I was supposed to wake up at 6, but lazy lazy me needed 2 hours wake up call continuously in advance before I can ever get myself out of the bed.
Haha.

And next time you need a wake-up call, ask Charlene to nag at you knock sense into you. HAHA.

Downloading HELP packages answers now. Initially only intended to print out thermal physics, but the others looked so tempting that I forsee I'm going to print out like 100 over pages. Physics is rather fun once you get the hang of it. lol.

As usual I can't wait for Saturdays.
I've a craving for korean seaweed.
And teppanyaki.
And B&J.
And Breeks.
And a lot of other things which will make my throat even worse.
Oh and pepper lunch too.
Sheesh.

Sigh.
This stupid feeling is coming all over again.

Sometimes I just wish that nothing happened.
It's so irritating to think that the amount of time in agony is still not enough. Like when will it stop. How can it be stopped.
And why the hell am I the only one who's feeling all these crap and how unfair it is.
Sometimes I just feel like putting all the blame on you but then I know that it's just me that I'm still like this.

And sometimes I feel guilty because it's so unfair to another but then I can't do anything about it. And even when you said it's alright I know that to you it's not alright at all. It hurts so much inside I know.

You know I've given up on being alright.
Because I know every now and then it'll come haunting. Even in my sleeps.
Maybe if I get away it'll be better but I know that it wouldn't solve anything. But I don't care because I can't stand it anymore.
I can't stand myself. I can't stand you. I can't stand us.
All those pretences.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware

But of course it's because of all these crap that I appreciate better.
& you never were the best for me.



I never did.

The net is so boring.
My time occupying friend is not online to entertain me.

Randomness:
I can't wait for christmas to come.
Hahahaha.

Oh. And I'm so bored I went to do this:
[Those in bold are those I find v. true.]
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Welcome Felicia Neo, here is your handwriting analysis.

Felicia has difficulty making decisions. Her mind changes constantly. She lives in an emotional tug of war. Felicia could be described like a thermometer. Today warm and friendly, yet tomorrow she may be distant and cold, not wanting to be close to anyone.

Some research indicates that people with a severe variety in the slant of their handwriting have an inability to tolerate sugar and are suffering the side-effects of too much sugar in their diet. If moods swings are a reoccurring issue, investigate the diet.

If Felicia encounters a situation she cannot handle she frequently pulls into herself. She feels her emotions are secure if she is withdrawn. When she has solved the problem she can be very outgoing and again need other people's companionship. Some see Felicia as very moody, but it would be more accurate to say she has two complete personalities that she chooses depending on the circumstance. This type of person is often hard to understand because no one knows what personality she is exhibiting today. She may not be bothered by something one minute, then the next minute become upset at the same thing. It is very difficult to pin down Felicia's emotional expressiveness.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Felicia doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Felicia will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Felicia believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Felicia will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Felicia's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Felicia slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Felicia can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Felicia is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Felicia basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Something is incomplete in Felicia's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Felicia's sexual needs. [ERRRR.]

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Felicia has left some white space on the left side of the paper. Felicia fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion moving the entire writing rightward as she moves down the page. If this is true, then Felicia has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Felicia is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Felicia is leaving the past behind and moving on to what she perceives as an exciting and enticing future.

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Oh wow.
Haha.

Try doing it yourself at
http://www.handwritingwizard.com/

Ohmy. Please slap me.
Today's... Wednesday.
And what have I completed?
Nothing.

Argh.

Yesterday - Mugging at Naqib's. And LJ kept coming up with nonsenses like he's going Narnia later through the wardrobe and blah blah blah. Family business-ed. Poor Dan and I were targetted each time and Naqib betrayed us. Boo. Haha.
And halfway while mugging we felt totally random and cabbed down to TM for Kung Fu Panda! HAHAA. Show was fine. Pretty funny. And there were really cute laughters ringing through the cinema. Because it was filled with kids. Haha.
And when we stepped out of the cinema, Naqib asked a random and amusing question: "Eh my back got popcorn or not."

Ohh.
And:

Chalet. (:


Reg 5-8. Evelyn we left a space for you. HAHAHA.

And so today I hope I won't slack so much.

My brother's outside with the DS and looking stupid.

Brother: [talking to the DS] Momo. Sit. SIT! SIT!
5s later...
Brother: Stupid dog.

And I realised I've watched a lot of movies this holiday.
Iron Man. Indiana Jones. Accuracy of Death. Narnia. Kung Fu Panda.

Heard this at service and it's stuck in my head.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
----------

Got this from YQ's blog.
Very meaningful I feel.
I'm in a sentimental mood now.

Been slacking.

Thurs - Studied a little teeny weeny bit.

Fri - Dad took leave. And we [including my brother] spent a bomb on some jap resturant making our stomachs bloated. Went home and slept after going to buy my brother's field camp things. Goshhh. He looks like he's going army when he's only going to some field camp for his CCA. Hahaha.

Sat - Vivocity. I'm never ever going to go there during weekends again I tell you. I can't stand the stupid crowd and noise. Sat around. Talked. Watched Narnia. Then joined Ger for dinner. Thai Express. Bloated to the max again. Sometimes I wonder where all the food go to. I can't seem to grow fat.

Sun - 4e3 chalet. Courtesy to Jean for lending out her chalet. Haha. Caught up with the rest of the people whom I haven't met in ages. Gossips. Haha. And Shuzh and I were saying how we should just go Seoul Garden next time because it's so much more convenient and we'll not feel so useless to help with the bbq. Thanks to those who helped with the cooking.

Remembered stupid things we used to do.
Eg.

Vanessa: Hi strawberry shortcake.
Shuzh: Hi vanilla longcake.

And Vanessa was saying how our class 4/3 x2 will be equals to the date yesterday. (8/6) Haha. Photos next time.

Oh.
And I was saying I miss Dr. when we were at Downtown. Haha.
And I happened to see this photo on Fil's blog.

Dr. don't kill me. Haha.
-------

I actually climbed out of bed at 8 today. But I was distracted by my DS. Got another dog [on DS] last week and named it Meow Meow. Haha. (:

2 more weeks. Stop slacking.
Argh.

That's the theme song for Accuracy of Death movie.
Another title for the movie is Sweet Rain actually.
I like the song a lot.
Lyrics doesn't really make sense but yeah.
Movie yesterday with Sj, Kd and Sab. Haha.
We were like 'huh?' during the movie. HAHA.
Interesting plot. But confusing. And a little slow.
But well. I think there's some meaning to it.
1) Different views about death.
2) Purpose in life.
3) Whether your choice in life is the right one. [Deciding whether the person dies of lives, in the show.]
4) The rain will always stop. Sadness will be gone someday.

Haha.
I may be wrong though.

AND. I spent my morning today cooking breakfast for my brother.
HAHA. He was saying don't want to eat peanut butter with bread, so I fried eggs. Then I ended up frying the bread as well with butter, and melted cheese. For experiment purpose. And he said it's nice. HAHA.

I'm s-l-a-c-k-i-n-g.
Argh.

Oh wow.
It's 12am.
And I'm still awake!
-claps.

jean. (; says:
u have finally get out of e pig stage
jean. (; says:
u r officially not a pig

AHAHA.

Still talking to Stella. [And Jean as well]
All the weird things about my L.L which I've never shared with anyone before.
HAHA.

Stella a.k.a Darling #2's telling me her love story.
Hahaha.
So oh dramatic.
LOL.

TODAY WAS SO SO SO FUN! (: (:

Extra lessons with Dr in the morning.
THEN we went downtown with Dr!! Hahaha. A whole bunch of us. Not the whole class, about half.
Dr treated us Sakura buffet. We felt so bad. Wanted to just back out and go food court but he insisted on eating it and walked in and paid for all of us. SO we had to dine there. Cost like $20+ [Excluding GST and all the nonsense] per person. Collected 10bucks each from everyone and CY shoved it into his pocket. Haha.

Fil and I tried all sorts of weird things there. Like Black Chicken soup and we ordered wrongly the spaghetti, and the guys [Mainly Louis and CY] beside us helped to finish it up. Haha.

Took photos. (:

After that rushed down to E-Hub to watch Indiana Jones. Dr treated coz we returned him part of the money for lunch.
Show was fine. Funny. Scary. And some UFO appeared out of nowhere. HAHA.

Walked around after that and Dr and some left.
Sat down at some corner at the side and played Werewolf. Some new card game which PPK bought. Resembles the Polar Bear murderer thingy but it's much more fun. Hahaha.
Fil and I kept saying we looked like idiots closing our eyes and everything.
Little girl. Cupid. Werewolf.

Zhu Song: I think whoever gets the wolfwere is the best.

HAHAHA.
Played till like 6pm.

Filza: Our favourite past time now is like sitting down and playing cards.

Whee.
I love card games as a group. (:

Lastly,


Click for enlargement.

Wheee.
New template.
Like finally.
Haha.

It took me quite fast to decide on one.
Haha.
Don't know what I chose this but it just appeals to me.
Soothing. I like. (:

Been MIA for a relatively long time.
Hahaha.

Haven't been touching the com for some time.
Not that I've been mugging much.
In fact I think today's the first day in 4 days I touched my stuffs.

Went mugging in school with Fil, LJ and Danial. Naqib joined us after that.
I'm 10% more productive than yesterday. Good good.

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

Hahaha.
That's what Danial said he does at home.
Stare into space all day.

And so we lunched at Pizza Hut.
Funny funny moments.
Like LJ's and Fil's rocking boat.
Worms on LJ's psp. 4 players! Haha.
And now I'm broke. ):

----------

Yesterday - Angela concert at Expo. Had complimentary tickets. Went with bro, Ger and her mum. Not bad. Haha.
Oh. On the way to meet my dad at Aljunied after the concert, we saw ALOT of cats. Like 12-15 laa. All walking past me. Coz someone was feeding them. Damn cute.

And Sermon was nice. The tenth commandment. Learning to be content. Covetousness.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
1 Timothy 6:10

Saturday - Dinner with relatives. We stayed out till 10plus to chit chat at some place near East Point. Ger, Pris and I had an intriguing discussion about things like our childhood times, funny things about Gary, etc.
It's really nice sitting down and chilling out. One of my favourite pastimes. (:

Extract from Pris's (Gary's younger sister) blog:
"like...he used to cry caused i made him angry :DD HAH.i was too naughty den."

"ohhya.tis is sth tat i forgot to tell them :D
bro used to think tat when earthquake occurs.the earth will split and people will fall into the hole tat leads to nowhere."

I didn't know my cousin is so funny. Hahaha. He's 3 years older btw.
-----------

And.
My Dad's fishes are getting weirder and weirder.
One still is surviving well swimming backstroke. Hahaha.
And no. It's not dead.

Me: Ehhh! Your fishes are all so lazy.
Dad: Just like you.
Me: ...

Few days ago I spotted one black one lazing around and now all are influenced.
Seems like it's the same among us. Hahaha.
----------

Busy busy holidays!

2 more days. (: