I finally changed layout.
Actually wanted to make one myself.

But no time.
And no inspirations.

So for now shall stick with pre-made layouts.

Edited quite a bit of the codes.
Don't know if I'm supposed to do that but then some parts need editing as the blogger bar above was blocking the top part of the entry and blah. Yep.

It looks fine now.
I hope I didn't edit wrongly anything.

Oh gosh. I haven't done EOM yet.
:/ Bahh. What was I doing all the time online.
I wonder.

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What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
and watching you walk away

Do you know that the word "Loss" appears to have evolved from an old English word meaning "destruction".
Isn't it interesting because nowadays we use the word which suggests something more along the line of "something missing".
And if you miss something, the natural tendancy is to keep looking for it,
trying to replace that which is gone.

Yet all things change.
Change, inevitably, means loss.
People deal with loss differently too, sometimes with a shrug, some try means to forget, but some carry on with constant yearning and a continual search for replacement.

No. I'm not being emo here.

Just trying to figure out what a person I am.
I just seem to have become so complicated. Ever since Secondary school.
Or maybe this was how I'm born to be like?
I have no idea.

Come to think of it, I think I spend the later parts of my life in 2 places - looking to the future - all scared of it - and looking in the past - all filled up with regret. I never seem to stay in the present.

But one thing I am sure is I've became much happier ever since I entered MJ. I wasn't so emo and everything. And yet.. I have to face this again.
Maybe you think I've changed, maybe I feel completely different. But I don't wish to be like this.

I want my old self back.
And I know I'll crawl out of this darkness. Like I always had.

And really. Sometimes I just wish we could turn back time.
At least we could talk like how we used to talk.
Instead of the 5 pathetic msges everyday now, we would have been sending 40+ or a lot more.
What happened to those days.
Everything feels so foreign now.

Then it leads me to wonder why ppl can change so fast.

I want the past back.

I want all the questions to stop.
I want more answers.

I want to go someplace
where nobody can find me.
Not even me.

I want a photo album.
Then I could take all the pictures in my head,
put them in the album,
and close it.

I want, I want, I want...
I want so many things.
Yet I can never have them.

I want to wake up in the morning
and be glad that I did.

And ytd it finally dawned so clear that
this is the end of my dream.
Maybe now I'm just all but a fragment of your past.