Monday, July 2, 2007
Just came back from the airport.
Met with with Filza, Jean, Fadilah and Huang Yu. Initially to chit-chat, then we did cip [cut leaves] again in the end. HAHA.
It was damn hilarious. Coz Huang Yu and Filza were like mass pasting the thingy. [inside joke]
Then I went off to meet jm.
Ate Macs and we sat there and talked and catched up. Yepp.
And then did some cam-whoring. We were like monkeys doing stupid things lahh. HAHA.
If you notice, I'm wearing Jas's spects. hahaha.
To think we even wanted to grab some random cute ang moh tourist and take photo with. HAHAHA. That'll be like damn fun. :D
I so love Jas's camera can. omggg. That crazy monster. Saved up to buy this powershot camera. So prettyyy with pretty effects. :/
Yepyep. Today was fun.
But deep inside, nothing can fill the emptiness within my heart. Am I really happy? Or am I just faking it.
Nobody truly knows me, maybe that's the way for everyone, or at least I hope so. I seem to have the tendancy to put on a front in the best interest of myself. Like being smiley and everything, so that others won't worry for me.
Everytime I look through my photos I'll be like thinking: "Who on Earth is this person. How the hell can she be smiling so happily like nothing bothers her."
There's something about my smile. Like Eve said, I look the same in everything. That's because I smile the same way. It has become a habit to just twitch your mouth and muscle in the same way when you face a camera, and even others. You just smile. Even when deep inside it's hurting like mad, and you're not okay at all. Eventually these fronts weld themselves to you until you no longer recognise your own soul in the mirror. At least that's how I feel. I have no idea who I am anymore. Of if I'll ever be happy again. Or... A thousand questions just run through my head everytime I'm alone. And it's so taxing to decipher and comprehend everything.
Sometimes I just feel like going to sleep. And I guess I don't really care if I don't wake up anymore.
My mind's unweaving/ 9:08 PM
