Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus
And how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad
Sometimes not having you here
Sigh.
This stupid feeling is coming all over again.
Sometimes I just wish that nothing happened.
It's so irritating to think that the amount of time in agony is still not enough. Like when will it stop. How can it be stopped.
And why the hell am I the only one who's feeling all these crap and how unfair it is.
Sometimes I just feel like putting all the blame on you but then I know that it's just me that I'm still like this.
And sometimes I feel guilty because it's so unfair to another but then I can't do anything about it. And even when you said it's alright I know that to you it's not alright at all. It hurts so much inside I know.
You know I've given up on being alright.
Because I know every now and then it'll come haunting. Even in my sleeps.
Maybe if I get away it'll be better but I know that it wouldn't solve anything. But I don't care because I can't stand it anymore.
I can't stand myself. I can't stand you. I can't stand us.
All those pretences.
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more awareBut of course it's because of all these crap that I appreciate better.
& you never were the best for me.I wanna be happily ever after
and my heart is so shattered
but i know it's about forgiveness
forgiveness
I never did.
My mind's unweaving/ 12:13 PM
